By Dr. Stanley Mukolwe
Our brains are like the memory stick of a camera and our eyes and ears the lenses and microphones. We go through life re-cording what we hear and see. Often we have no idea what we have recorded until an event triggers a memory. Once the memory is prompted, we re-live the past as if it had just happened. As we raise children, memories of our childhood are triggered. Some of them may be painful. We are products of our past but our future need not depend on that past because we can make decisions today that change our future.
The scriptures claim that children are both a gift and a reward from God (Psalms 127:3). They further claim that God has seen our unformed substance and knit us together in our mothers‟ wombs (Psalms 139:13, 16). Do these truths affect the way we raise children? Is parenting today any different from 20 years ago? Is there a problem with “today’s children”?
In an age with invariable change, what must remain constant? What is the constant about schools that excel? The students are the variable – they study, graduate and leave. The teachers and school management are the constant. What is the constant in profitable companies? Employees are hired, some leave and others retire. They are the variable. Management is the constant. What is the constant in teams that win? When a team constantly loses, the coach usually re-signs, or is fired. It is understood that a different coach can transform a losing team to a winning one. The players are the variable. The coach is the constant.
But does it always take a new coach to transform a losing team? In the movie Facing the Giants, Grant Taylor is a losing coach with an underdog football team. He is bombarded by giants of fear and failure in his professional and family life. Like one pulling out weeds in a garden, Grant identifies the issues that affect his team’s performance and deals with them. The result is revolutionary!
So what is wrong with children today? Nothing. They just need to be raised. In a family, the parents are the constant. Unfortunately, some people have children but do not wish to be parents. Others provide for their children but haven’t the time to raise them. Some wish to raise their children but simply have no idea how to. Their memory is marred by negative childhood experiences. In the Parenting Class we expose you to a revolutionary way of thinking in the context of other parents using the Bible as our guide. Your children will become the beneficiaries of your transformation!
Wonderful read
ReplyDeleteThank you Dr. Mukolwe for starting this blog!!!!!!!I am will add it as a favourite to my blog list and i pray that people will click on the link and learn the great things my hubby and i learnt from the parenting class which was one of the great motivators for starting my blog - to share on motherhood as a great opportunity to raise soldiers for Christ. May God continue to grant you wisdom...you have no idea how many lives God has transformed through your teachings. My husband and i have really been thinking about Navigators and how we would love to get involved. We have been seeking God about it and we are blessed to receive all the materials through mail.
ReplyDeleteFantastic!I am excited to be following this blog!
ReplyDeleteThe blog is getting revived
DeleteUndertaking parenting classes as a single lady was/is a wonderful expereicne. I would like to thank Dr. Mukolwe and his lovely bride, Patience Mukolwe for the wise teachings. I plan on repeating the class too!!!!!
ReplyDeleteLovely written piece Uncle Stan! I am looking to taking the class!
ReplyDeleteThanks Waturi. Great to have you in the family. The next class starts 26th January at 7 a.m. at the Navigators Kenya offices. Let me know when you are ready to attend.
ReplyDeleteHey Dr. Mukolwe....we have been looking for your contacts and how to attend the class since beginning of last year!! Our baby is now 8 months(hope not too late) and we would love to attend the next class soonest.
ReplyDeletePlease advise, my email address is mrsatundo@gmail.com
“When we are in conflict with an intimate - a parent, a spouse, a child, a friend - we urgently want the other person to understand why we are right and why they are wrong. We do not rest until the other person can understand us. We have neither patience nor compassion for the other person’s position. Understanding and anger are contradictory emotions. During conflict our bodies’ neuroendocrinological reactions to those we love are the same as the ones we have to our enemies. The surge of adrenaline comes with combat and directs us to fight. The hardness of anger is supposed to exclude the soft vulnerability of compassion. Whether emotional or physical, we fight for survival, not for understanding.” These observations from Barry’s book ‘Forgive your Parents, Heal Yourself’ are true. So how do we get out of this tight spot? When scripture commands us to “Let no unwholesome word proceed from your mouth, but only such a word as is good for edification according to the need of the moment, so that it will give grace to those who hear.” Ephesians 4:29 it is an impossible task we are being asked to do. It is especially an impossibility for those who rely on their strength and whose emotions are driven by the wrong done against them - or the right that was not done towards them. But mastering this skill with the help of the Lord is the sure beginning of resolving conflict. You make up your mind to speak kindly to those who are unkind - without waiting for them to be kind. When you do this, your adrenaline production has no choice but to drop. With reduced adrenaline, your natural instinct for fight or flight changes. The verses that follow give specific instruction on what to do in that situation. Are you experiencing conflict? Let me recommend you spend a good amount of time meditating on Ephesians 4:17-32. Don’t just read it. Read it several time sin different translations. Then act on it and see how you start to change even before the person with whom you are in conflict changes. When you change, you will be experienced differently. Our words and actions are the means through which others experience us.
ReplyDeleteGreat content!
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